


Crybaby

by deltachye



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: :(, High School, One Shot, Other, Reader-Insert, Unrequited Crush, babey - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 18:44:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21061415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltachye/pseuds/deltachye
Summary: [reader x tsutomu goshiki]he's round around the edges. it's probably why he feels his feelings so, so much.





	Crybaby

He’s never really been one to shy away from his feelings.

Goshiki always takes things seriously and with 100% effort—the same goes for his emotions, which all hit him at 100%. Always. There’s just no in between. He’s cried at every movie he’s ever seen. Yes, even the Barbie ones. And it’s not like, the little glistening tear that rolls down the side of your nose and is easily wiped away. He’s the ugly crier that everybody has to look at with half-concern, half-disgust because why is this boy crying _so much_?

He tries not to get angry or frustrated, but it happens. It really does feel like his blood boils over, scalding hot in his veins. His sight goes red. And on the off days where he feels poorly or simply sad, it feels like his world’s collapsed in on itself. Darker than black.

Yet when you came along, everything just got so much more… _more_.

It started as him having a pathetic crush on you that developed on sight. You sat in front of him in home room and from the one time you smiled at him, he became obsessed with you.

There was nothing he could pinpoint about you that made him feel this way. There wasn’t just one thing he could say was the reason he even started liking you in the first place. It wasn’t just vanity from your appearance, though everything about that made his heart ache in his chest—you were smart. Duh, people at Shiratorizawa Academy are smart, but you just made everything seem so effortless. He could’ve been jealous if you were rude about it. But you were never cocky the way Shirabu was. In fact, quite the opposite—you never insulted anybody for not knowing something, and always offered to help them understand instead. Not only that, you were funny. When he wasn’t paralyzed into silence by his own awkwardness, you never failed to make him and others around you laugh.

There was only one thing he didn’t like about you.

“Hey, Goshiki-kun, [Surname]-chan. Have you tried this app?”

“No,” you replied, looking curious. “I haven’t heard of it.”

“What’s it about?” he asked brightly. He didn’t bother trying to stop the happiness from being associated with you from coming onto his face.

“It’s like those match-making things from elementary. See, I’ll type your guys’ names and birthdays in here, and we’ll see how compatible you’d be as a couple!”

His heart jumped. Not only were his classmates thinking that you and him could be a thing, this stupid app was going to decide if it was even going to happen. He felt like he’d been put on the spot. It was all suddenly happening so fast. Like yeah, he’d daydreamt about this pretty much all the time. Being called your boyfriend. Taking you out on all sorts of dates. Having you come to practices and games to cheer you on, your voice the loudest in the crowd. Coming off the court after a win and kissing you on the forehead. But he’d never expected it to be brought up so soon, much less at all.

“So, Tsutomu-kun? When’s your birthday?”

You sounded so distant even though you were right in front of him, talking right to him. An easygoing but wry ‘what can you do?’ kind of smile rested on your face. In an effort to stop his heart from being emblazoned on his sleeve for once, he said as nonchalantly as possible,

“August 22.”

“Ah, summer baby? Okay! Let’s see, [Surname] [Name]-chan and Goshiki Tsutomu…”

The screen had some sort of fun heart animation and jingle, but he wasn’t really paying attention. He would never admit how excited he was to watch it fill up; how nervous he was when a pink circular loading symbol popped up. He had to close his eyes. Fear. Anticipation. Excitement. Fear. Hope. Yearning. Fear.

“Wow! 99.8%? We’ve never seen it that high before, even with Aki and Ren!”

Aki and Ren were a notoriously sappy first year couple—the weird kind of couple that sucked face in the stairwell, making everybody skirt around them just to get by. Was this fate? The stars? God? The work of a couple pixels on a phone screen? Goshiki practically gave himself whiplash to look at you and gauge your expression, but you were already laughing.

“That’s so funny. Too bad I’m already

_taken_.”

Wouldn’t things be easier if he stopped liking you there and then? Wouldn’t things be easier for him if he’d just take things as they are? But he couldn’t stop hurting so intensely, no matter how much he told himself to get over it. You had no obligation to like him back. Of course somebody as perfect as you would have a boyfriend already. He couldn’t compete in this arena.

He went home and cried into his pillow that night. It was the first time he was ashamed of himself for being such a sensitive person.

It affected him so badly at practice too that he had to get benched. It was embarrassing. He’d just made it as a regular in his first year, something only the most talented of people like Ushijima Wakatoshi can do, and he’d goofed it just because of a dumb crush. Moron, stupid—he was such an idiot, so why was he still crying about it?

“Damn, Tsutomu—it’s not that big of a deal.”

His teammate was probably just talking about him being benched, but everything _was_ such a big deal, all the time. Getting into the same school Ushijima, his idol, had. Playing as a regular with his hero. Not failing the trig quiz. Having his favourite food in the dining hall for once. Meeting you. Losing you.

There was no way he wouldn’t have cried seeing you walk down the aisle. He and you both had known he was going to cry all along, but now that it was actually happening, the well in his chest exploded. His jaw was tight as he tried to keep it together, but how could he? You’d kept the dress a secret from him until the big day, and the white seemed to glow in the sun, making you look like the definition of a painting’s angel. He’d written his vows down on a little card, but he couldn’t even bring himself to say them, too choked up looking down into your bright eyes. You touched his face with your fingertips, smiling gently.

_“Tsutomu… you’re such a crybaby._”

“Seriously dude… are you okay? You’ll get to play tomorrow, don’t sweat.”

If there was anybody he’d want to talk to about it, it would’ve been you, the one who used to make everything okay. And it wasn’t your fault. It would never be your fault. But it was still you that had unwittingly broken his heart, making everything so not okay that the only thing this little crybaby could do was sniffle and say flatly,

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: https://deltachye.tumblr.com/


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